Separation Anxiety

I am the Master of Denial.  I am unsuccessfully trying to ignore my impending departure date.  My subconscious keeps kicking the crap out of me, however, and won't let me sleep.  I love when that happens and is especially delightful right before finals.  While I'm not sleeping, I am trying desperately to convince myself to start packing.  Somehow, I just can't bring myself to start.  It's like if I don't pack, it means I won't have to leave.  Hm.  I had a sit-down with myself and it went something like this:

subconscious (in the voice of donald sutherland): how are you, aimee?  you don't seem to be dealing with this transition very well.

self: well, duh, you won't let me sleep!

subconscious: i'm trying to tell you it's time to go.  you need to pack so you can enjoy your last days in jerusalem.

self: grrrrr.  i don't want to pack.  and i don't want to leave.  i don't want to study for finals. 

subconscious: aimee, i'm not even going to dignify that with a response.  you're moving onto the next phase in your life.  it's time to get excited.  for serious.

self: ok.  i guess you're right.   i'm going to start making a list of everything i'm going to miss about israel so i can start focusing on other things.

subconscious: like your liturgy final, right?

self: absolutely.

fin.

so my subconscious speaks in the voice of donald sutherland.  so what?

things i'm going to miss: being able to sit in a cafe for hours without being kicked out; close proximity to yehoram gaon; walking everywhere; strangers saying "shabbat shalom"; tomatoes; getting what you want by being rude; the mediterranean; jerusalem stone; living 5 minutes away from all of my friends; reliable public transportation; gun toting soldiers; rechov yoel solomon; menahem begin; smelling the honeysuckle in front of the king david; israeli men; the view from my window; the atmosphere of calm; rechov emek refaim; nargila; veggies for breakfast; speaking hebrew; palestinian fireworks; the north; shnitzelonim; learning with the most knowledgable, entertaining, unique professors; the friends i've made, american and israeli.

things i'm NOT going to miss: watching tv on my computer; the municipality; the post office; my landlord; the people upstairs who constantly move furniture at all hours; walking uphill both ways; mosquitoes; living next to a bus stop; jerusalem stone in the rain; winter; the bedouin tent; class on sunday; class until 6:15; israeli men; flair on clothing; businesses being closed when you need them to be open; missing my family and friends from home.

note: some things made both lists.  i'm complicated like that.